My little boy just turned 6 months old and I can't even begin to explain how much of a mind f*%# that is . . . It feels like just yesterday that he was this completely helpless, unaware little boy who couldn't do anything for himself and now he's so independent! I am so excited for what the future has to offer us, but it's a little sad watching my little boy - my whole world - growing up so quickly.
In the matter of 3 days he learned to sit up by myself, say "dada" and "daddy," and he cut his first tooth. It was just a couple weeks ago that I was complaining to my boyfriend that our son would never be able to do anything by himself and now my head is spinning. Now, I'm not going to lie: I hated the new born stage . . . Probably because my son had super bad G.E.R.D. so he was hospitalized, he didn't eat well, and he got up ever hour at night, but now I would do anything to have one more day with him as a new born. I go through his clothing from the month he was born and I can't believe how much he has grown.
If someone told me two years ago that I would be living this life, I would have laughed in their face. If someone ever told me that I would give up drinking, give up smoking, transfer universities, be in a relationship with Andrew, live back at home, and be a mother at the age of 19 . . . I wouldn't have believe them. At all. However, I would not change my life for the world. It may be difficult to live with my parents, to be a young mother, and to give up my social activities, but this feels right. This life is what I have been longing for for so long without even knowing it. I always wanted a sense of belonging, I always wanted to be a mother and I always wanted to be with Andrew . . . Now I have all three of those things and I finally feel complete.
I wish we were financially stable enough to move out of my parents house and get our own place, but that's nit realistic at this time. Of course I appreciate everything my parents have done for myself, Kaysen and Andrew, but it is hard on everyone to live in such a small house, have conflicting schedules, conflicting ideas on how a house should be run, etc. Perhaps this is the best thing for my family for the time being, because it gives us a chance to establish ourselves financially and give Kaysen a sense of stability, but I am definitely excited for the future - I am excited to have my own house with just my boys.
I love my little family more than words can explain.
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